I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
