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When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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