This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I will be naked everywhere
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
