she looked like the bat from fern gully.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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