hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
