So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
