No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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