i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
