So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
