Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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