if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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