the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
