So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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