Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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