You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize