Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
