The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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