Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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