Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
