Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
