This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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