i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize