I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
