so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Randomize
