I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
