He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
