you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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