i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
