Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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