mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
