I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
