i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Randomize
