i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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