So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Randomize
