did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
