oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize