Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
