Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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