I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
