I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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