btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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