K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
