At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
