I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
