called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
