I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Randomize
