yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
