I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
