On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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