Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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