Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
