Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
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