I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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