its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
