Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
