I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
