People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
