Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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