whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
