Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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