I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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