when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
