Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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