i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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