my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
