what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You took a bar mat shot.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
