Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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