Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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