so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Houston, we have a blender
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
