My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
