I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
