I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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