just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
