doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
