i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
