WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
