Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
